Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Real Battle of the Bulge

Well folks..  I have decided to write on the fitness craze that is of interest at least to us here in the United States by telling you my own personal tale of...."The Battle of the Bulge".  I have mentioned here and on my Facebook page the amazing job that Luke has done with his interest in the BeachBody program.  In the first 90 days he has lost over 70 pounds and reduced his body fat to a meager 7%.  So when Barbara came home and announced that we were going on a 17 day diet to lose weight I agreed, of course, since there are only two of us and she was the cook.   So for approximately the next 3 weeks I will report on the progress that I have made in this insane battle to do more with less.

First, I had to take stock of myself.  Most people take a before and after picture.  I considered that and immediately rejected the thought because there was no way to touch up the picture and flatter myself as motivation to keep on with this silly idea .....so I just decided to go with the numbers.  At age 79 after both knee replacements and a double by-pass this didn't seem like a good idea but anyway... Onward and Upward 

First step was the scale... ugly really ugly.  The 'survey said'  267 pounds buck naked.  Now that wouldn't be too bad if I were 6' 2" but unfortunately I am 5'2" with eyes of blue so I just knew that I had a long way to go and 17 days wouldn't do it.  But I decided to be a good soldier and GO FOR IT.  My body mass index would put a Texas steer to shame so I plain ignored whatever my % body fat would be.  And I started day number 1.

Breakfast consisted of two eggs and an orange along with the juice of one half lemon.  The eggs must have come from a pigeon or a bantam rooster at least but the lemon originally was of good size.  I squeezed the lemon into a cup of green tea and it wasn't  half bad... the half that was green tea that is.  I followed that up with a cup of water and two cups of coffee with a little milk and a packet of Stevia.  The rest of the day was green tea(3 more cups) and finally a cup of water before bedtime.  That's 7 cups of liquid and that was as close as I got to the obligatory 8 cups.  But ah then the lunch and dinner.

Lunch was a salad.... a wonderful medley of greens and reds and yellows and the like.  But it seemed to be endless.  I was lost in a forest of lettuce and fetta bits and other nameless items that must have tested Barbara's cullinary skills to the limit.  But that was nothing compared to dinner.

The good news was a nice chunk of salmon.  The bad new was those hairy green hunks of vegetables along side it.  But with grit and determination and Barbara looking over at me from time to time I managed to get it down and turned around to look for mycongratulatory scoop of ice cream.  Viola!  nothing.  Somehow I will survive.

Now on to the exercise program.  Fortunately I decided to start with 3-pound weights.  This seemed like a piece of cake since I used to work out with 15-pound weights and lift barbells in the 100-200 pound class.  But that was 60 years ago.  Thee pounders as it turned out were more than enough challenge.  But the real obstacle was the treadmill. 

I decided to start slow.  I put the motor on the lowest setting and started up the platform.  It was like a Texas gunfighter walking into town at high noon.  After 5 minutes of this torture, I shut it down and realized that my legs had been really strained after years of sitting on my ... computer chair.  I managed to burn 4 calories and progressed  a whole .01 mile in that five minutes.  So I decided to call it Day One and crawled upstairs on four limbs and immediately crashed.

The next day dawned with the sun shining and all that and I weighed myself.  Yippee I had lost 2 and a half pounds.  Somehow it seemed all worth it as I plodded down the stairs to another breakfast of eggs and mushrooms.  (to be continued).

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